'I thought she'd have grown more attached to her by now': After three years, first feline still plays favorites, but wife holds out hope for cuddles in their own time

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Oct 2, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Morgana, the five-year-old first feline of her pawrent, is proving that cats can be both cuddly companions and tiny tyrants. On the surface, she's a model meowdel of good behavior: no scratched furniture, no shredded curtains, no knocked-over knick-knacks. But beneath that angelic exterior lurks a purrsonality full of quirks. She startles easily, especially thanks to her saintly sister Zelda, or whenever her pawrent's wife dares to shift in bed. Move an inch, and Morgana acts like she's battling a monster under the covers.

The real catastrophe? Morgana just hasn't fully warmed up to her pawrent's wife, even after three years. While she'll politely rub against her, biscuits and lap time remain firmly off the menu. Add in the occasional hiss, and it's no wonder the wife feels a bit left out. Still, Morgana clearly isn't mistreated. She's spoiled with treats and spared from scolding.

Cats are notorious for choosing their favorite hooman, and Morgana picked early. With patience (and maybe some extra tuna), this diva may yet expand her circle of trust, but until then, the throne belongs to her chosen one.

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  • 01
    'Morgana doesn't seem very fond of her'
    via Junlin Zou from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    This is my first cat ever, Morgana she's 5 years old, very cuddly but also kind of a j . She's actually a very well behaved cat, she never attacks us or scratch our furniture or touch or drop any of our stuff, but she can get startled
    via OvejaMacho
  • 03
    very easily by her sister Zelda (which is an absolute angel, also 5 years old but a bit younger) or my wife (almost never by me except is she's in bed with us, which any movement will absolutely bother her).
    via OvejaMacho
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    Cheezburger Image 10559640576
    via OvejaMacho
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    We've been living with my wife for more than 3 years now and Morgana doesn't seem very fond of her. I know cats have a favourite person, and she rubs on her all the time, but she never makes biscuits or lay on top of her and will often hiss at her when she pets her for a while (never does that to me). After all this time, it is kind of hard for my wife
    via OvejaMacho
  • 06
    She doesn't ab e her nor hit her, she gives her treats and normally I'm the one to scold her if she does something wrong so she doesn't dislike her more. I know it's normal she'd be more attached to me as we've been together since she was a kitten, but I thought she'd have grown more attached to her by now...
    via OvejaMacho
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    Cheezburger Image 10559640320
    via OvejaMacho
  • 08
    Mammoth_Test_9... Definitely have your wife do the feedings AND treats.
    via Mammoth_Test_9813
  • 09
    PapaOoMaoMao Those who supply the Churu's are the ones they love.
    via PapaOoMaoMao

  • Gotta be the treat giver if you want the purrs. Cats know exactly who’s filling the snack bowl, and loyalty often follows the crunch of kibble and the rustle of treat bags.

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    Super_Appearanc... Have your wife ignore Morgana for the most part and not approach her. If she can catch the cat looking at her, have your wife give her a slow blink. Be patient. Eventually the cat will approach your wife. Having your wife feed her and give her fresh water might help.
    via Super_Appearance_212
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    lethargiclemonade Your wife pushes it too much at one point crossed the line with touching the cat when it didn't want it. Now the cat feels it always has to make its boundaries clear in more agro ways.
    via lethargiclemonade
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    Tell the wife to back off, let the cat come to her on its own term and when the cat has had enough simply let it walk away. Also fyi torties are naturally sassy and "one person" type cats. It's not necessarily about "not liking" the wife
    via lethargiclemonade
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    ImpracticalCatMom There can be many things. going on. Sometimes, the main hooman gets all the loving, and the spare hooman only becomes useful to her majesty in the absence of the main one. #
    via ImpracticalCatMom
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    pup_groomer Tortitude. Tortise shell cats have LOADS of attitude. They generally choose one person and will sometimes tolerate others. Stop worrying about how your cat "treats" your wife. She's just being herself.
    via pup_groomer
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    CobraMacBurkus make her the food lady
    via CobraMacBurkus
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    OdeeSS Wife should set aside time, everyday, to sit with Morgana and quietly give her pets and a couple treats for a few minutes. If Morgana indicates she has had enough, end the session immediately and leave (show respect for Morgana's boundaries and this will
    via OdeeSS
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    grow her trust.) Cats are like people - we maintain and improve friendships by setting aside time to focus on that relationship. If wife just exists in the house, but hasn't spent 1 on 1 time, Morgana may have never had the opportunity to see her as more than a large roommate.
    via OdeeSS

  • Might just be the tortitude shining through, but it could help if your wife spends more one-on-one time with her with gentle play, quiet company, and treats can work wonders for bonding.

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    _ KittiWith Roses Only feed her when your wife is next to her, give her treats when she's nice to your wife, have your wife play with her as often as you can. You want to build a positive relationship between fun things like food and your wife, you also want
    via _KittiWithRoses
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    to reinforce positive behavior. Make it where the more time she's around your wife the more treats she gets.
    via _KittiWithRoses
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    Awkward_Cream... Have your wife do everything they like doing. Feeding, treats, brushing, etc.
    via Awkward_Cream9096

  • Have your wife become the go-to person for everything. Meals, treats, playtime, even brushing. If Morgana starts associating her with all the good stuff, the bond may grow stronger over time.

  • 21
    Senor-Saucy We had a cat that would snuggle me and let me pet her a plenty, but would frequently bat at my wife, growl a bit, and run away when my wife would pet her. Best I could tell it was because I would read out cat's body language and pet her where and how our cat wanted, whereas my wife
    via Senor-Saucy
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    cats always prefer me. If your wife really wants a "particular" cat to like her, then she needs to really pay close attention to what the cat is trying to communicate, learn it's particularities, and follow the cat's lead.
    via Senor-Saucy
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    wouldn't really pay attention and would insist on petting our cat where and how my wife wanted and our cat was having none of that. My wife. has gotten better over time, but still doesn't really want to change her behavior regarding our cats-we've had 4 since-yet seems slightly annoyed that our
    via Senor-Saucy

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behavior pets advice feline pawrents Cats cat owners cuddling
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